I’m sure someone can think of a better title for this or in a few days I’ll probably stop whatever it is I’m doing and say “Oh crud, this would have been a better title for that blog entry,” but it was the first thing that came into my mind. So I’m sticking to it.

First of all, from the title alone, you can probably tell what this entry is about. Now, to all those that fall into the category of “Hater” then please, feel free to close this window and stop reading. And why are you even on my blog if you hate me so much? Second, if you fall into the “Potater” or “Grater” category then, WOAHHH! My blog has managed to communicate not just with people, but with everyday appliances and food as well Haha (Lame, I know, but I just had to add a little humor into this somewhat “serious” entry) So where to begin…

I felt that I needed to blog about this just to share how I feel about this issue. It’s my blog anyway and again, if you don’t like what I have to say then please feel free to unfollow or stop reading it. I’ve come to find that ever since I was little, I had always encountered at least one person that expressed an undying hate for me. Now whether I was too noisy or too small or too decked out in pink (you’d be surprised at the ridicule one may get in wearing their favorite color from head to toe as a child) I always met someone who apparently didn’t appreciate my existence. So here I am now, 21 years old, still facing the different types of haters and mean people in my daily life. So what better way to deal with them then by blogging about them right? Haha

I’ve been getting a lot of Tumblr Asks and Formspring questions on advice on how to deal with haters and mean people. I’ve answered a couple, but the questions still keep on coming. This saddens me. Not because I have to repeat myself (because 1. Each situation is different and 2. We all know how much I love to talk) but because there are still so many sad and miserable people out there that hate on others. Even personally I’ve received numerous hate tweets and mean messages on my blog and other accounts from people I have never even heard of or spoken to. It’s just so sad that in this world there are so many people that are willing to spend their time hating on others.

Now for those who have been following my blog for a while now (Yay! Thank you for visiting! :p) know that a couple of weeks ago I posted a screenshot of one of the haters who has been harassing me since I can remember. Now, I deleted that entry because I felt that this blog shouldn’t contain anything negative or gross/mean and that I realized that I shouldn’t glorify her existence by posting an entry on her. So comes this entry. I’m here just to write about how I feel one should go about dealing with these “haters” and how you should act towards yourself and them. Whether it be online or in person, a mean and rude person is still awful to deal with, and granted it hurts a lot when they say it to your face but it’s just as bad online, the only difference is that they’re hidden by an IP Address (which makes them more of cowards, actually) So here we go.

Love Yourself

I know it sounds so cliche and whatever but seriously, love yourself. What I’ve come to find is that it isn’t about how you look or what you wear, but about who you are as a person. A hater will always find any physical quality about you to insult. So many haters have called me ugly, said I had a huge nose (and I honestly have a pretty big nose, but I’ve learned to love it), they’ve compared me to other girls (exes of past boyfriends, supermodels and actresses) and said I was talentless and stupid. So here’s what I’ve come to find:

First, most especially when it comes to the online haters, well, majority of them haven’t even seen me in person. They’ve never seen or spoken to me. So how can they know if I’m ugly or stupid? It doesn’t make sense. Second, my whole world would crash if I saw these tweets and messages if I was some superficial Barbie (no hate towards Barbie, btw, I loved her, I just loved G.I. Joes more). If you love yourself and know that you aren’t doing anyone any wrong then why listen to them? Their opinion only counts if you let it. If you believe them. Third, just think about all the friends and family that you have. If you were all those things that these haters said you were, would they be sticking around? Would they want you to be a part of their life? No. So don’t listen.

Delete Delete Delete

Step away from the computer, breathe in deeply, go back to the computer and hit DELETE. There’s a delete button for a reason (And thank you to the computer geniuses that added one) so USE IT. You don’t need to keep those horrible messages in your Inbox to make you feel down so DELETE THEM! They’re like old stinky underwear (Not that I’ve ever owned a pair of those) They just take up space and stink up your life!

What if the person goes up to me and says something mean to my face? Believe it or not, but I am a firm believer that our brains also contain a DELETE button. We can choose what to remember and what to forget so DELETE all the bad memories and insults! I promise you, it works and I know from experience! Don’t remember or think about things that will make you feel bad because not only are the haters getting what they want, but you’re hating on yourself too!

Block

This is mainly for those online haters on your sites. If the website you have an account in has a BLOCK button, then USE IT TOO. You cannot imagine how many times the Twitter BLOCK button has saved me from receiving message upon message of hatred! It works and is amazing. It’s like they were never there! They can message you all they want but you’ll never get them! It’s perfect :)

Smile and Laugh it Off

I really believe that laughter is the best medicine. And what better way to deal with horrible people than by laughing? Not only will it piss them off (okay so I know you’re like me and in one way or another you wanna piss them off) but it will make you feel good. Remember, it all goes back to loving yourself. If what they’re saying isn’t true then laugh it off! You can only imagine how good it’ll make you feel to smile and laugh instead of cry and feel bad.

On a side note: Based on personal experience, some of the haters I have come across especially online that claim to be “fans” or loyalists of whoever, have really, really, really bad grammar and poor sentence construction. I didn’t even need to remember to love myself, I just kept on laughing because of how badly they constructed their insults! :p

Count Your Blessings

Remember that amidst all the hate, you are blessed. Truly truly blessed. Count your blessings, not the insults. My friend Liz (who’s super pretty mind you) once tweeted (and I’ll never forget this tweet because I retweeted it and made it a favorite) “Count Your Blessings, Not Your Blemishes” isn’t she a genius?! It’s so true! Don’t count all your supposed “blemishes” and flaws that your haters point out, count your blessings instead! You’re alive, breathing, you have food to eat, people that love you, a school to go to and clothes to wear! The blessings are endless! You’ll come to find that the blessings ALWAYS outweigh the hate and “blemishes” ;)

Be the Bigger Person

Don’t fight back. Just, don’t. You’re better than them and fighting back just makes you stoop down to their level. Don’t. It doesn’t feel good and you’ll just give them more room to throw around more hate.

And just think about it this way: If they tell you you’re this small, just remember that they’re SMALLER.

Develop Thicker Skin

It’s a sad fact of life but like what I said in the start, there will always be one person who will make it their mission in life to hate you and make you feel extra small. The point is to know that there are people like that in this world, and to try and develop a thicker skin against them. Whether they be strangers or schoolmates, exes or past friends, there’s always that one person who’s life is just so sad, they wanna pull you down with them too. It hurts but again, it’s true. I have people that I’ve done nothing to (and I know them personally and see them around school and in parties) who have just decided to hate on me. Stop talking to me, stop minding me and even say bad things about me. Now I know most would think “Well, you probably did something” but you see, I didn’t. I haven’t and I know that. I don’t talk to them enough or even mind their lives enough to hurt them. They just decided not to like me anymore. And there’s nothing I can do about that.

The worst thing you can do is try to make everyone like you. Not everyone will like you so don’t try it (paraphrasing a bit from Megan Fox). If they were old friends or lovers or strangers it doesn’t matter. Just remember that it’s their loss, not yours. While you’re busy trying to better yourself and be kinder, they’re busy filling their hearts and minds with hate. How sad is that?

Pray

I really believe in prayer. Prayer does wonders. It makes you feel lighter, more at peace and filled with love. Know that God is always there. He will always love you and be there for you. Whether you have bad skin, light skin, dark skin or scars all over your body, to Him you are perfect. He made you the way you are for a reason, DO NOT QUESTION HIM.

“But why does He allow people to say such mean and hurtful things to me?”

Well, the same reason He allows anybody to do anything, free will. It’s a bitter pill to swallow but we can’t blame God for all the mean people in this world. That’s something I’ve learned. He didn’t make them to hate you, they chose to do the things they did and said to you. It’s not His fault so instead of doubting Him or getting angry with Him, pray to Him. Trust Him. There’s a reason why you have to go through all kinds of people- it’s so that you know how you want to be as your own person. The choice is yours (Matrix reference heehee) to be someone God centered and good, or hurtful and awful. Pray for them! They obviously need your prayers since their lives are so sad and miserable. They NEED YOUR PRAYERS, not YOUR COMEBACKS.

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Phew! I know this was a rather long and wordy entry but I’m just hoping I get my point across. I just wanted to share how I feel about haters and how I deal with them personally and online. I hope that in some way, I’ve helped you see just a little bit more of yourself, and helped you in dealing with haters in your life. :)

P.S. The pictures are just to add effect and make the entry seem less wordy Hee hee :p I do not own or take credit for any of the photos in this entry.